Breakfast Babble: ED’s own little space on the interwebs where we gather to discuss ideas and get pumped up for the day. We judge things too. Sometimes. Always. Whatever, call it catharsis and join in people.
Unlike many who consider marriage to be some ‘divine unbreakable bond’, I consider it to be a mere social and legal obligation two people willing to be in intimate partnership with each other need to fulfill. I have never stood in ceremonies nor understood why people need social and legal approval for that in the 21st century. Plus, I hated the fact that marriages in India involved other people more than the people who are actually getting married! Another disagreeable factor about marriage was the exclusivity and commitment that it demanded. Marriages and relationships made you choose between people and made other people unavailable despite the fact that humans are originally polygamous animals.
Just like Bunny from Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, I wondered why people even enter into a serious, rather monotonous relationship such as marriage just to have sex, a basic need. Well, I didn’t know that I was soon about to get my answer!
So, I met this person who had similar views as mine. He liked keeping things open and hated how marriages were so overhyped in India. We clicked instantly! However, unlike the typical people indulging in casual sex, he had an impeccable personality, was matured, caring and romantic. He understood me like no one else, was bold and really fun to be around. He was just too perfect! All these soon charmed me and I was on cloud 9 when he asked me out! From late night texts to passionate makeouts, we grew really close and shared the most beautiful moments together, that too without having the obligation to commit and get approved. It was the best thing ever, at least that’s what I thought until I realized how possessive I had grown of him, how I got jealous of every girl he gave attention to and grew anxious of every late reply. With passing time we grew distant and it nearly killed me. Strangely enough, although things were open between us, I never felt like seeing or even thinking about any other guy. A year passed by and one fine evening while scrolling down my Facebook news feed, I got the most shocking news ever – he got married!
So he ditched me just like that, without even officially breaking up with me! I thought. Then it struck me – we didn’t break up officially because we were never officially together! The thing I thought of as a boon became a bane for me. This time I wasn’t mad or jealous but simply devastated.
In an age where live-ins, open relationships and casual hookups don’t face social disapproval, it really meant a lot for someone like him to stick on to a woman and marry her (and I know for the fact that it was not an arranged marriage).
I felt cheated on, mostly by myself. I realized that I was clearly not the sort to handle polyamory and that it is all fun and games until things stop going in your favor. While it made me all the more resentful towards the institution of marriage, somewhere down the line I wished to be in the shoes of his newly wed wife someday.
In short, banna tha Bunny, bann gaye Naina!
Source: Blogger’s own experience
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Find the blogger: @ParomaDey
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